Forever in Hollywood Read online

  “I don’t know, sleep deprived, neither of us thought of it. We are friends, why not? I mean, it might not work, but it will give them a reason to doubt the rumors.” He paced about the tiny bathroom.

  “Okay.” I shrugged. “I think you’re insane but okay. It’s better than any other option we have.” I forced a smile. It wouldn’t be the worst thing. At least I had a little longer with him. This also hopefully assured me he wouldn’t ignore me today.

  It wasn’t until we were in his car heading toward the set that I realized I would be bringing Jocelyn to the set every day. She would hear the rumors about me flying around. I took in a deep breath. What a cluster my world turned into in these few short weeks.

  How could I go from being married one week, to a divorcée starting a whirlwind romance the next week? I knew unequivocally that I had fallen head over heels for Andrew. This was bad. To allow myself to continue this fantasy would eventually hurt us both.

  I had to end this.

  “What are you thinking about?” Andrew interrupted my thoughts.

  “Nothing,” I lied. I wasn’t ready to explain my revelations yet.

  It wasn’t long before we pulled on-set. Andrew cut the engine to the Firebird and grabbed my hand. The gesture was so familiar for a couple. But we were no average couple. He was a womanizing sex symbol, and I was a married, cheating horrible woman; no one here knew my marriage was over.

  “Are you ready?”

  “No.” I scanned the parking lot for familiar faces. “Nothing we can do about it though.” The corner of his lips turned up showing a hint of dimple on his left cheek. He squeezed my hand with enough strength to hold me together before letting go.

  We got out of the car and walked side by side onto the set. Heads turned as we passed by, and it felt like every pair of eyes—cast and crew alike—were staring at us. This had to be a bad idea. Walking together only added fuel to the rumor fires. I could see them turning into a raging inferno in the eyes of our onlookers.

  I leaned over to whisper to Andrew, “Ever feel like you’re on stage naked and everyone is staring at you?”

  “Indeed this is awkward, huh?” he whispered back. “Let’s get in there and start spreading our own rumors.” Neither of us looked at each other as we walked into the meeting. We crossed the room and sat with his friends again. The questioning looks we received from them were enough to make anyone aware of what everybody must be thinking. Andrew broke the uncomfortable silence by speaking first. “Her car won’t start. She called me for a ride. Get your bloody heads out of the gutter.”

  That was it, nothing more. He stalked off out of the room. Where was he going and why was he leaving me alone as a sacrificial lamb to the wolves? I smiled wanly at the crew and they turned away, confused. Only Anne continued to look at me; she was searching for answers. Damn her curiosity.

  No one asked me any questions during the meeting. It wasn’t until we were walking to makeup that Billy approached me. “So…Marissa, Andrew?”

  I cringed internally but worked hard to keep my expression indifferent. “What about Andrew, Billy?” I said his name curtly to emphasize the fact that I was already upset with his tone.

  His eyebrows were folded together and he blinked much too often, like he wished he kept quiet now. “Umm, well, he was at the hotel this morning getting breakfast…then you two came in together. Honestly, Marissa, I didn’t think you were that sort. Don’t let L.A. corrupt you.”

  “Seriously? Did you even bother to ask Andrew what he was doing at the hotel? I called him because my stupid rental would not start. He gave me a ride to work, that’s all.” The lie flowed like water down Niagara Falls.

  He seemed caught off guard by my response and also somewhat relieved. “Do you know what kind of rumors are flying around set right now? You should’ve asked me. I would have picked you up.” He placed a hand on my shoulder.

  “I swear, being here is like being back in high school. I should be able to have an adult male friend without people thinking all sorts of nonsense.” My voice rose through the hallway as I worked to keep up the charade.

  “No one thinks we are sleeping together, and we’re friends.”

  “I’m not your type. I don’t have a penis,” I retorted back.

  “I’m only trying to look out for you. Andrew isn’t the most moral person to be associated with.” Billy gave up and slinked off with his shoulders low.

  When he left, I sat on a low sidewalk curb and placed my chin in my hand. This was going to be a rough day. I hadn’t seen Andrew since his morning outburst. I must have zoned out because someone sat beside me. I eagerly looked over, expecting to see Andrew sitting there. Much to my dismay, it wasn’t Andrew, but Anne.

  “Why did Andrew drive you to the set today?” she asked, calmly.

  “He told you already.”

  Anne pursed her lips for a moment. “Nope, I don’t buy it.”

  “What?” I snapped. Okay it was a lie but how dare someone who doesn’t even know me call me a liar to my face.

  “Look, I don’t care. I’m not going around gossiping. Andrew’s a good friend. We’ve been close since we started filming the first of this series five years ago.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. My eyes darted around nervously to see if anyone was close enough to hear. “I’ve never seen Andrew stay with anyone more than one night, and he never speaks to her the next day. Ever. I know what happened with you two at the bar the other night. And when you left early, I have a pretty good idea that you were verbally agreeing with him a lot throughout the night, if you get my meaning.” She wagged her eyebrows up and down.

  Heat flushed my face as memories of that night flooded my head. This encouraged her to continue her line of questioning. When I remained mute, she diverted to a new tactic. I felt like a criminal in a police interrogation.

  “I have never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you.” She leaned in close, as if she was my best friend sharing the secret with me.

  I stared at an ant marching across the pavement carrying a tiny crumb, ignoring her and the demons screaming in my head for answers.

  “Come on Marissa, curiosity killed the cat, and I’m on my last life here!” Her voice came out louder than I would’ve liked. A few people close by turned to look. She put her hand on my knee and tried to catch my eyes.

  “Why don’t you go ask Andrew then if you are so sure about what you saw?” I hissed. Let him deal with his pushy friend.

  “Ask me what?” Andrew’s voice pierced through the tension. Both Anne and I turned as he walked up and stood in front of us.

  “I wanted to know some woman-to-woman stuff, but she won’t tell me. Tell her she doesn’t need to keep things from me An-drew.” She drew his name out like a pre-teen and pouted her lip. Someone was used to getting her way.

  Andrew let out an exasperated sigh. “Anne, leave her alone. She doesn’t want to talk about it.”

  Anne jumped to her feet facing him. I rose.

  “Why is this even an issue? What happens between two adults is of no business to anyone here on-set. Why is this important to you anyway, Anne?” Andrew came to my defense. It was about time.

  “I’m not party to any gossip, I knew you two spent the night together the last few nights, and I didn’t say anything. I’m just curious to what’s going on.”

  Disgusted that my life was turning into a soap opera, I turned to exit the conversation. Andrew had admitted to her that we were sleeping together. I was dumbfounded. Would this nightmarish twenty-four hours ever end?

  “I don’t even know what’s going on.” The words Andrew spoke echoed in my head. Could he possibly be as confused as me, and did he feel the same pull toward me as I felt toward him?

  Anne stood with her mouth gaping open for several seconds before composing herself. “Wow, um…okay. I’m at a loss for words right now. I’m…um, going to go talk with the director about my next scene.”

  “She won’t say anything to the others
, but she’ll want more details if she ever catches you alone, I’m warning you now. She’s tenacious when it comes to getting what she wants.”

  “Why didn’t you deny it?”

  “She’s a good friend, and she is also very observant. I knew when I spoke to her yesterday that she had suspicions already about us. Today only confirmed things she already knew. Don’t worry about her, she’s harmless.” He ran his fingers through his hair, tousling it on his head. He looked at me pleading for forgiveness.

  I realized I was staring at his lips as he spoke. I wanted to touch them, or nibble on them, they were so plump.

  “Will this pass?” I hated being the center of gossip. Andrew’s hand twitched out as if he was going to touch me then thought better of it. I pressed my lips together and sighed.

  “Probably. There will be some new scandal in a day or two, and people will move on from talking about us.” He motioned in front of him for me to walk. We walked together to the wardrobe building. As we walked the sound of whispers in the wind followed us. Andrew and Marissa. She’s married. He was in her room this morning.

  The buzz continued all day on set. I heard it from the hair stylist as I sat in her chair. Wardrobe was also abuzz with people whispering behind my back around the racks about Andrew not leading any more extras back on set. How it must be true that he and I are secretly dating. It took a nobody to bring down the master of seduction. I even heard one person say. ‘A nobody’ made my blood boil, but the way the line was delivered, like someone talking about Big Foot or some other mythical creature, made me chuckle despite my irritation.

  Every time someone became brave enough to ask me face-to-face about what they’d heard, I would grimace. To play my role I stared them straight in the eyes, squared my shoulders, chin jutted out high, and lie through my pearly little white teeth.

  Days on the set became longer and longer and today was no exception. I couldn’t even busy myself by helping the effects crew or hiding out. I had lines and needed to be on stage during most of the shooting. It felt like I was on display for the whole cast and crew to point at and whisper about. Despite my humiliations, I carried on, grinning, lying, and pretending the noisy rumors weren’t hovering over my head like a guillotine.

  I was grateful I was in the middle of shooting all day. Anne didn’t have a chance to corner me and continue her inquisition. All day she stared at me, and it felt like she could literally burn a hole through my skull and pull the memories out of my head. It made me uncomfortable and I found myself flubbing a line or two, which only increased my embarrassment.

  Finally, after what felt like ages, the director called for a wrap. I was hungry and mentally exhausted. All I wanted was to get away from the set. Being the center of a scandal wasn’t fun and work had become tortuous.

  Anne approached while we were still wrapping up to ask if Andrew and I would like to come out for dinner with the group. I shook my head, my lips parted to decline her invitation when she interrupted me. “It’s just our little group. No one will talk if you go with a group of people.”

  That wasn’t the problem though. I had a date with an old friend at the airport in a few hours. I wanted to make sure I was there with enough time to meet her outside the gate. I didn’t want her to feel lost for one moment after all she had been through.

  “That’s not a bad idea, Anne,” Andrew added. “I’m famished.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke. His eyes were intent on Anne as he smirked at her.

  “Andrew, I have to pick Jocelyn up at the airport, I can’t go to dinner.” I touched his elbow to turn him to face me.

  “Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time, she doesn’t get in till eight-thirty.”

  Anne caught up on the vibe. “We’ll eat somewhere close to the airport.” I wondered why she was so anxious for us to be together.

  “I can’t be late, Andrew. Promise you’ll get me there in plenty of time.”

  “Oh, Andrew is taking you to the airport?” Her eyes sparked with knowledge. Every little detail she sucked in was like air. She grabbed me by the elbow and led me off-stage out to the parking lot. This time Andrew followed like the puppy.

  “Um, yeah my car is broken, remember? He offered to take me.”

  “Mm, how nice of him.” She glanced back to Andrew, who was now only a stride behind us. “Maybe he can help you keep your bed warm tonight, too.”

  “Anne!” Andrew snapped.

  I stopped in my tracks. Would the teasing never end? Something in the pit of my stomach wrenched tight. I already felt bad enough what I had done, more than once. Was it acceptable for someone who only accepted the fact they were getting a divorce a week ago to jump in bed with someone else? A little voice in my head reminded me Dan cheated on me, and my marriage was really over long before now, I was too stubborn to admit it.

  Anne jumped back at the fierceness of his voice but quickly recovered. “Oh come on, no one is around. This is fun! You said it would never happen to you, remember, Andrew? Do you really think I could let this slide so easy?” She beamed a wide toothy grin at Andrew.

  “Just stop, Anne. Things are…well, things are complicated enough without this teasing and gloating.” His eyebrows were furrowed; a thoughtful expression crossed his face. However his voice was calmer, the fierceness dissipated.

  There was some deep connection between the two of them that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. There appeared to be no awkwardness or sexual tension. Like brother and sister, they read each other well.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, and turned to me. “I’m sorry, Marissa. Let’s go eat and forget this, please.” Her smile appeared friendly and genuine.

  I stood around while the others discussed the different options for dinner. When it came to finding my way around Los Angeles, I was still lost as a puppy.

  Next thing I knew, Anne was leading me by my hand. I must have zoned out because I didn’t remember hearing any talk about a decision being made to where we would eat.

  “You want to ride with me?” she asked, beaming from ear to ear. I shook my head. I didn’t have to think twice about riding with her alone, Andrew’s voice rang in my head. She’s waiting to get you alone so she can ask for more information.

  “You know, if you get in the car with him the rumors will spread faster than wildfire? I won’t bite, just ride with me.” This need for the latest gossip was like a drug to her. She had to know what was going on. Or maybe she was being protective of her friend. That seemed less likely though, considering the number of women he slept with in the short time span I’d known him.

  The Firebird rumbled up beside me. Andrew leaned over to manually roll down the window. Music I didn’t recognize rang outside the vehicle—a frantic melody and lots of screaming instruments.

  “Are you going to get in or what?” A smile lit up his face. I returned the smile and practically ran to the passenger side door, flinging it open with more force than necessary.

  When we were on the road I turned to him. “You saved me! My hero,” I cooed in my best damsel in distress voice. That made him laugh a bright carefree laugh, and the sound filled the car.

  “My pleasure, my dear lady.” His British accent made the phrase a little more heroic and sexy.

  The whole, short ride I sat and watched the buildings blur by, not really fixating on anything. I was enjoying the fact that there were no longer eyes staring at me, or whispers behind my back. I sighed and leaned back on the headrest.

  “What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet for too long.”

  “Today was tough. I don’t usually get embarrassed or care what people think, but today really drained me.” It really did feel like there was no way to escape and no one would hear me if I screamed for help.

  Andrew exhaled loudly. His lips pressed together in a thin line as he looked straight ahead appearing deep in thought. “Are you excited to see your friend?”

  “Yes.” I smiled lightly, grateful for the change of subject. “But I wish it was und
er better circumstances. I’m glad she finally left Mr. Creepy.”

  “Does she play any instruments? You know I’m not letting you out of our jam sessions. She’s simply going to have to join us.” I understood what his statement meant. Small talk to drown out the pressure of the day mixed with a little possessiveness, assuring I at least spent a little time with him after she arrived. Warmth filled my cheeks and my heart fluttered. I liked that. A lot.

  “Nothing that could be used in a rock band. She plays wind instruments pretty well.”

  We pulled into an open spot at the restaurant far too soon. It wasn’t enough alone-time to relax with Andrew before we had to put on our ‘we-are-only-friends’ face. Anne pulled in beside us with a full car. They must have decided since I wasn’t riding with Anne they would carpool together.

  Anne bounded up beside me, still grinning. Apparently, if there were secrets to be told, she was determined to become your best friend in order to drag it out of you.

  “You’ll love this place. We eat here at least once a week.”

  We walked inside with arms linked like two best gal pals. Inside, Andrew positioned himself across from me and to my left in the booth.

  “You two aren’t fooling anyone,” Anne announced. “Move over, Andrew, I want to sit there.” She shoved her way into the booth, bringing Andrew and myself across from each other.

  So much for spacing ourselves far enough apart that no one would raise an eyebrow; Anne was a complex character, that was for sure. Not to mention meddlesome too.

  Dinner ended and we sat around with some beers in front of us. I sipped the same beer slowly and waited anxiously for my friend’s flight to arrive. I started getting antsy, fidgeting and shifting my weight this way and that. I picked at the label on my beer and had to ask everyone to repeat themselves when they tried to include me in the conversation. Did she make it on the flight? Have a chance to stop by the courthouse? Did her creep of a husband realize she was gone yet? So many questions swirled around in my head.